Nightwatch

I stumbled across Nightwatch as soon as it came out on DVD, back in '97 or '98.  I had never seen a preview for it, was completely unaware of its box-office performance, and knew nothing of its plot.  I did, however, recognize Ewan McGregor from Trainspotting, and that was good enough to warrant a rental.  It was the first real “thriller” I had ever seen --- I had still not experienced a true horror movie yet, either --- and the novelty of discovering a film on my own, free of the mass media and the recommendations of others made this a personal favorite for a few years.  Now, I hadn't watched Nightwatch in years, but I never forgot the positive impression it left on me.  As the years have passed, I have occasionally wondered why nobody else seems to fondly remember this pic.  Was I just a stupid kid with terrible taste in movies when I first watched Nightwatch, or is this an under-appreciated gem?  Only one way to find out, I suppose.

Martin (Ewan McGregor) is a student in law school, who enjoys typical law school things, like going out drinking with friends and laughing loudly.  He shares a gigantic loft apartment with his busty girlfriend (Patricia Arquette) and hangs out with his asshole best friend, James (Josh Brolin), and his smart-mouthed girlfriend (Lauren Graham).   The big difference between Martin and the others is that he doesn’t have any money.  And, apparently, “no money” is a relative term, because he still goes out to bars with his friends and has that badass apartment.  To fix that problem, Martin decides to take a job as a night watchman at a morgue.  

This was after a failed attempt to open a casino

 Because he is a normal college kid, and that is what normal college kids do, right?  Anyways, the job pays well and will give him ample time to study.  The morgue is, predictably, a creepy place, and everyone who works there is bizarre and horrible.  No surprises there.  It is weird, though, that the watchmen have to go into every room in the morgue every hour and essentially get a time punch to prove they were there.  There seems to only be one entrance to the building, which means that the only time anyone could get in without being noticed is when the security guard is doing his hourly rounds; I suppose that policy is in place only to mess with the minds of the employees. 

The labels on the bottles read "amorphous blob in formaldehyde"

A body is brought into the morgue one night, an apparent victim of a serial killer.  Martin meets Detective Cole (Nick Nolte), who lets him in on some of the grisly details; the victims have been hookers, and the killer is sadistic and has some knowledge of surgery.  Around this time, James starts acting bizarre; his actions appear to be those of a bored rich kid looking for adrenaline kicks.  He gets a particular rush from bar fights and hiring prostitutes to degrade themselves.  Sounds suspicious, doesn’t it?  This naturally leads the police to assume that James Martin is the serial killer.  That would suck on its own, but it is pretty obvious that the killer also has his/her eye on Martin, too...

McGregor's homage to "Scream"

The acting in Nightwatch definitely has its highs and its lows. Unfortunately, the highs fall in the realm of acceptability, while the lows are just incomprehensibly odd.  I liked Ewan McGregor’s natural charm and thought he was pretty likable, although a little dumb.  His character’s logic isn’t very impressive, but McGregor did a good job playing up some of the more childish aspects of his character.  Patricia Arquette was her typical self; she’s fairly blank for most of the film and when she has to act distressed, she sounds a little moronic. 

This would have been a great opportunity for her to say "These aren't my clothes"

Still, she has a very background role, so that never becomes problematic.  Lauren Graham had an even smaller part, which left even less of an impression.   That’s too bad, because I usually like her.  I liked Brad Dourif as the least sympathetic doctor ever, even if the character was hilariously unrealistic. Oh, and John C. Reilly had a very small role as Nolte’s partner/underling. Remember when he was an outstanding dramatic actor?  Man, those were the days.  Nick Nolte, though, was just bizarre.  

This film was made right around when he stopped playing romantic leads and began to embrace his creepy aging face.  And he definitely brought the creepy with this role.  It’s one thing to play a bad cop, or even a disturbed cop, but his Detective Cole immediately strikes you as the type of person who makes neckties out of human flesh.  Who would trust this guy?  That would be a more pressing question if it wasn’t for Josh Brolin’s character.  Here is a character that is all things to all people, depending on the needs of the script.  Do you need someone to be brash and fun?  How about unsettling and abrasive?  Maybe a murderer?  Or a voice of reason?  No problem --- JB will fill that role!  Honestly, I don’t think it is possible for Brolin to look remotely competent playing such a poorly written character, but I think he did as good a job as he could with what he was working with.

"Your motivation here is to want to punch Ewan in his damn face...for some reason"

I was shocked to find that Steven Soderbergh was responsible for co-writing this film.  I don’t know if there is some sordid behind-the-scenes story about the making of this film, but this is truly awful writing.  The characters are immune to logic, the police do not follow even the most basic of investigative steps, and the serial killer menacingly sings “This Old Man.”

Well, I suppose it's a bit creepier if you interpret "played knick-knack" as "made molesting motions with his hands."  Actually, the story isn't really Soderbergh's fault; Nightwatch is an American remake of the Danish film Nattevagten, so it's pretty obvious that Soderbergh was hired primarily to translate the script into Americanese.  The original story (and the Danish script) was written by Ole Bornedal, who also directed both the Danish film and the American remake.  As frustrated as I was watching the characters act so damnably odd, I have to give Bornedal some credit --- he does a nice job building the suspense in this film.  He doesn't do it artfully, so it isn't subliminal like clever camera shots can be.  Instead, he slowly builds the tension and makes even the smallest and stupidest plot point seem threatening.  

"Actually, I am interested in changing my long distance.  Very interested..."

Thankfully, he focused almost entirely on Ewan McGregor's character --- the only one in the movie that is even remotely believable --- so you might not notice just how ridiculously over the top the entire supporting cast is.  I'll give Bornedal an "A" for effort and execution, but a "D" for his actual script and characters.

I don't know...it almost feels like I am being a little too harsh on Nightwatch, like I'm overcompensating for having such a high opinion of it as a youngster.  But then I glance at my notes and feel a whole lot better.  Sure, I can look the other way on some of the dumb stuff in this movie --- like the fact that the police apparently do not check alibis because it builds suspense, or the acreage of the allegedly college apartments --- but there are some things I just can't ignore.  For example, I can sympathize with Martin when he is audibly confused when a prostitute starts to give him a surprise handjob in a fancy restaurant --- that would be a little weird and socially awkward --- but I don't think yelping repeatedly like she was wearing a joy buzzer was a natural reaction. 

Although it does explain his attraction to that alarm...

I also doubt that a tough, muscle-bound guy at a bar who apparently likes to fight would be wearing a Jennifer Beal's torn sweatshirt from Flashdance.  And then there’s the final confrontation between Martin and the killer.  It works perfectly well as a sadistic killer preying on an innocent, but when you remember that the killer is trying to frame Martin, the weapons being employed make a whole lot less sense; you can make it look like Martin is a killer who committed suicide if you use, say, a gun, but not if you're attacking him with a bone saw, moron.

Man, what a letdown.  I remembered this movie being so cool.  Now, I see it as just an exercise in how to do the best you can with a crappy script.  The suspense is genuinely well done.  The script is genuinely wretched.  If it wasn't for McGregor's energy, this movie would be nigh-unwatchable.  And it's really too bad, because this movie comes very close to being genuinely creepy.  Sadly the lack of believable characters makes this a promising movie that just isn't very good.

True Romance (Director's Cut)

Continuing with my mini-theme of romantic movies that I actually like, in honor of Valentine's Day, I bring you True Romance.  Directed by Tony Scott and one of Quentin Tarantino's first professional screenplays (I can never figure out if this came first, or Reservoir Dogs), True Romance is a blend of crime, action, Tarantino dialogue, and true love.  This film also boasts one of the all-time greatest supporting casts, with some of the most memorable scenes highlighting supporting characters that you will ever see.

Clarence (Christian Slater) works at a comic book store (awesome!) and, for his birthday, has decided to catch a triple feature of Sonny Chiba movies at a local theater (awesomer!).  While watching the movies, a busty blonde named Alabama (Patricia Arquette) comes in and spills her popcorn all over him.  Clarence is very gracious about the whole thing, possibly because of her cleavage, and the two strike up a conversation.  They end up getting some pie after the movie (awesomest!), which eventually leads back to Clarence's place for some sexy sexy time.  Of course, this isn't as perfect as it seems.  It turns out that Alabama is a call girl, hired by Clarence's boss to sleep with him as a birthday present.  Clarence doesn't mind at all, insisting that he had had the night of his life; the two abruptly declare their eternal love for each other and get married in the morning.  Aww.  The rest of the movie has the two getting to know each other and finding out that true romance means compromise.

The "crime" part of the story begins when Clarence chooses to confront Alabama's pimp, Drexl (Gary Oldman).  He doesn't really have a solid reason for this, it's just his inner alpha male (which is personified by an imaginary Elvis that gives him advice) needing to prove itself.  The short version of the story has Clarence killing Drexl and leaving with a suitcase of Alabama's clothes.  When he returns home and tells Alabama that he just killed Drexl, her response is "That's so...romantic!"  I guess Clarence married the right gal.  The suitcase he brought with didn't have his new wife's old clothes, though; it was filled with uncut cocaine.  Not knowing what to do with a suitcase of coke, Clarence and Alabama do the only sensible thing they can think of: they go to California to sell it to move stars.  Unfortunately, the late and unlamented Drexl was selling the drugs for the mob, and they are not as forgiving as you might think.

The first thing you notice about True Romance is the dialogue.  It still sounds fresh and funny today, but it really sticks out against the rest of 1993 Hollywood.  To put it in perspective, the nominees for Best Picture that year were The Fugitive, The Remains of the Day, The Piano, In the Name of the Father and Schindler's List, none of which were particularly renowned for their rapid-fire creative vulgarity.  And while you might recognize some echoes of Tarantino's dialogue from this movie in Pulp Fiction, it's still good stuff.

The script is definitely this film's strongest point, but the astonishing supporting cast is a close second.  This movie has so many recognizable actors in it, and most of them have surprisingly meaty roles.  Dennis Hopper and Christopher Walken share one of my all-time favorite scenes, and it's just the two of them talking.  Brad Pitt is hilarious as a worthless, pot-smoking roommate; he was actually offered the role of Clarence, but it conflicted with his filming schedule for Kalifornia --- he just picked Floyd, who originally had no lines, out of the script and ad-libbed all his stuff.  And Gary Oldman's performance as Drexl is so good that I usually watch it two or three times before continuing with the rest of the movie.  I don't know whose idea it was to make this pasty-white pimp pretend that he was a black man, but it's pretty damn funny; Oldman doesn't let his character become a joke, though, and turns out a frightening performance.

Just those four performances would be enough for most movies, but this film is overflowing with larger-than-life supporting characters.  Chris Penn and Tom Sizemore (before he was a train wreck) did a great job as detectives.  Bronson Pinchot and Saul Rubinek play obnoxious Hollywood types almost to the point of becoming caricatures, but they're still entertaining.  James Gandolfini has a good scene as (what else?) a mob enforcer.  Even the normally talentless Michael Rappaport looked good (because he was playing a talentless actor).  And then there are the bit parts!  Samuel L. Jackson has a brief but entertaining scene where he discusses the universal nature of oral sex, Val Kilmer plays Clarence's imaginary Elvis (whose face is never shown, thanks to some truly awful makeup), and a young Kevin Corrigan has a small non-speaking role, too.  On the whole, this supporting cast is good enough to star in three or four solid movies; all together with a clever script, True Romance is a movie that has no boring scenes, and every minute has an actor you recognize in it.

Of course, all that support would be worthless if the main actors are no good.  And, to be honest, half of them aren't great.  Patricia Arquette, while very white-trash hot in this movie, does not do a good job.  In fact, I would argue that she sounds like she has some sort of mild retardation.  For some reason, her character is given a voice-over at the beginning and end of the movie, too, and they're not great either, even with a good script.  Christian Slater, though, does deliver his lines well, giving Clarence a cocky, roguish attitude that matches the tone of the picture perfectly.

Tony Scott directed this movie, but it was before his work in Enemy of the State, so it doesn't have all the 360-degree, fast-motion establishing shots that his last decade of films have had.  Instead, he plays it pretty simple and lets the script do most of the work.  Nobody's monologue is interrupted by unnecessary camera cuts, there are no fancy split-screens or anything like that.  Aside from some particularly violent fights scenes, Scott doesn't really take the opportunity to show off, and the film is better for it.  I disagree with giving Alabama bookend voice-overs, but that's a small price to pay.  Really, aside from a better soundtrack, I don't see how this movie could be improved by having Tarantino direct it himself.

This is a fast-paced crime movie with lots of overly-clever vulgar dialogue. If that's not your thing, then catch a Katherine Heigl movie instead.  This is the first time (and only time, so far) a Tarantino script had anything resembling an actual romance in it, and while pretty unconventional, it works.  There is no point in the movie where I wondered why these two characters were together, and that adds a lot of heart to the mix.  This isn't your typical romantic comedy, but Clarence and Alabama's unquestioning, immediate, and confident love for each other is unusually refreshing.  It's simple and untroubled, and that's perfectly fine in a movie like this.  Even with Arquette's mentally challenged performance, True Romance remains one of my favorite films of the 1990s, and one of the few that deserve ten stars.

A Nightmare On Elm Street 4: The Dream Master

 

"Terror Beyond Your Wildest Dreams," eh? That's not only a bold statement, but a presumptuous one, too. Who knows what is even in my wildest dreams?  Oh, that's right...Freddy Krueger.  Who's Freddy?  Here's a quick recap: Freddy Krueger (played by Robert Englund) is a basically a powerful aspect of dream that can kill people in their sleep.  In particular, Freddy seeks revenge against his murderers by killing their children in their dreams.  In A Nightmare On Elm Street 3: The Dream Warriors, Heather Langenkamp returned to the series (she was the main actress in the original film) to help a group of kids being terrorized by Freddy; together, they managed to find the mortal remains of Freddy, sanctify them, and bury them, thereby "killing" Krueger. Langenkamp and three other kids managed to survive, but they are the sole survivors of the children whose parents killed Freddy Krueger.

One of the survivors, Kristen (played by Patricia Arquette in the last film), is played by Tuesday Knight.  Don't be fooled by her possibly porn-industry name; the girl is a true triple threat.  She is an actor, an amateur smoker (when she pretends to smoke cigarettes in this movie without any smoke...now that's acting), and a semi-professional singer.  Yes, that is Tuesday singing the opening theme to this movie and, yes, she is probably looking for work as we speak.  She didn't last long in this movie, that's for sure.  Deciding that there was no reason to actually stay dead, Freddy chooses to come back to "life."  The scene involves a dog peeing flames and his bones growing muscle tissue; the logic governing this course of actions is never actually explained.  Well, Freddy makes quick work of Kristen and her two other fellow Dream Warriors survivors, thereby succeeding in his mission to kill the children of those that killed him (although nobody ever mentions Langenkamp for some reason, shouldn't she be considered a survivor?  Okay, I'll shut up).  That's not good enough for Freddy, though; in this film, he branches out from simple revenge to harvesting souls.  It's nice to see a grown man that can change careers so easily!

Oh, before I forget, Kristen manages to use her dream powers to pull a friend into her last dream and transfer the dream powers to this new girl, Alice.  You might wonder why...or how...but you shouldn't.  If there's no explanation for how Krueger returned, you can be reasonably sure that the transference of one-of-a-kind supernatural powers between friends through a dream is not a priority; basically, the writers are assuming that, if you believe in dream-dwelling serial killers, this will not be a hard pill to swallow.

You can guess the plot from here.  Alice uses her new powers to stop Freddy, but not until he has killed most of her friends.  But, right before the end, there's an interesting idea.  According to some ancient mythology, there are two gates to the realm of dream, a good dream gate and a nightmare gate.  Each has a guard.  It's implied that Freddy is the guardian of the nightmare gate, while Alice (and, presumably, Kristen before her) is the guardian of the good gate.  Okay, that's not a horrible way to enrich the history of Freddy's character.  But, of course, that's just an idea that I developed, based on maybe two lines in the actual film.  A teacher mentions the gates in passing and Freddy later says that he's guarded his gate for a long time.  Oh, well, so much for ideas.  Speaking of clever ideas, guess what defeats Freddy this time around.  Go on, guess.  That's right, a mirror.    For a movie about dreams, there's not much creativity here.  I'd like to say that this is director Renny Harlin's worst movie, but that title is owned by The Adventures of Ford Fairlane.

That's really the big problem with this movie.  Doesn't anybody want to think out of the box for this franchise?  Where are all the one-liners?  Where are the cool dream deaths?  Here, we have not one, not two, but three people die from Freddy stabbing them in the stomach!  Another dies by drowning!  Another by asthma!  Really?  Look, I understand that this is the fourth movie in a series, but that means that the deaths and insults should be getting more gruesome and creative.

Oddly enough, The Dream Master was the highest grossing film in the series (until Freddy Vs. Jason).  It was also the only movie to have a video game released in conjunction with it; along with The Dream Warriors, this was the basis for the truly horrible game for the original Nintendo console.  It even had a Fat Boys song on the soundtrack that featured Freddy rapping:

Sadly, this is also the first Freddy movie that doesn't really try to scare you.  It's kind of like Freddy got a horror movie "pass for life," where his scariness is always assumed and never requires proving.  From this film on, Freddy is less of a monster and more of a performer.  So, I guess you could call him "Vegas Freddy" or "Fat Elvis Freddy."  Another weird thing about this film is that there is no direct connection to the "Freddy house" that appears in each movie.  In the first two movies, the characters living in the house were terrorized by Freddy.  The logic in the first movie was because Freddy wanted his revenge, but it's less clear in the second.  In the third, Heather Langenkamp returned and Patricia Arquette dreamed about the house.  Here, though, and in every subsequent movie, the house is abandoned.  None of the kids after The Dream Warriors even recognize the house, much less live on Elm Street.  Why is this house used in every movie?  It's even implied that this was Freddy's house, but it wasn't.  Sorry if I'm paying too close attention to continuity, but it's odd to have a recurring image that has no real relevance.

While there isn't much to recommend this movie, I did like the effects when Freddy died and finding that Fat Boys video made me smile.  I also liked the fact that, by killing all the Elm Street kids, Freddy essentially won.  But, god, it is terrible.