Black Dynamite

I often find it difficult to review comedies.  The plots are usually just an excuse for jokes, and analyzing jokes can suck the fun out of any movie experience.  Well, okay, I am fine with analyzing and criticizing crappy comedies, because it feels like I am taking out some measure of revenge against the filmmakers that have hurt me with their obvious pop culture gags (I'm looking at you, Wayans family) or their formulaic and tiresome "jokes" (Seth MacFarlane).  But how can I review a comedy that I actually enjoy and not spoil it in a review?  I suppose a video clip wouldn't hurt.

That commercial is the opening scene from Black Dynamite, a spoof of blaxploitation films from the 1970s.  If you are familiar with Billy Dee Williams' work for Colt 45 in the 80s, then you will agree that this faux advertisement is pretty spot-on.  As a throwaway joke, I think this is a pretty clever one; it has random singing, a ridiculous slogan, and the curious claim of being the only malt liquor approved by the US government.  That's all pretty awesome.  What makes it even better is that this commercial ties into the plot of the movie.  It doesn't have to, it's amusing enough as it is, but I like the extra effort the filmmakers put in to make this seem a little less random.  Oh, and I hope you like the "DY-NO-MITE!  DY-NO-MITE!" at the end, because you hear it whenever Black Dynamite enters a scene.

The basic plot has Black Dynamite, the baddest brother around, trying to avenge his brother's drug-related death.  Of course, since this is a love letter to everything ridiculous about blaxploitation films, that premise is just a springboard that allows Black Dynamite (I love that name!) to clean up the streets, save some orphans, have a Vietnam flashback, battle with a kung-fu scientist, and eventually climax in a nunchuck fight with President Nixon.  Now, if that doesn't sound like your cup of tea, call a hospital and tell them that your awesometer is broken.

This scene is as entertaining as it looks.

You might be wondering if this is a stupid movie.  Absolutely.  There is no argument about that.  What makes Black Dynamite great is that is is stupid on purpose, and (mostly) in ways that show affection for the films that inspired it.  How else can you explain Black Dynamite shooting an assassin in a doughnut costume (at the local "Chili 'n' Doughnuts" shop) and explaining with a straight face that he knew something was wrong because "Doughnuts don't wear alligator shoes"?  It's not just one-liners, though.  One of Black Dynamite's friends, Bullhorn, only speaks in rhyme --- which leads to some awkward moments when he stumps himself.  Black Dynamite, as the bad-ass hero, naturally has a lot of consequence-free sex with multiple partners in this movie; the man is a walking orgy with an afro.  And while those scenes are all entertaining enough on their own, this clip is just the icing on the cake.

What separates Black Dynamite from other blaxploitation spoofs, like Pootie Tang, I'm Gonna Git You Sucka, and Undercover Brother is that it could pass as vintage blaxploitation film.  Sure, it's absolutely ridiculous, but so is Shaft in Africa.  The clumsy editing, visible boom mikes, and lack of alternate takes would all feel at home in a low-budget 70s movie; Black Dynamite just makes the humor from these errors intentional.  Notice the change in actors here:

Being a pretty stupid comedy, it is understandable to think that the movie lacks the acting and action chops to entertain between jokes.  Well, Black Dynamite is played by Michael Jai White, who certainly has an action movie pedigree. Most of the time, the heroes in these movies (Rudy Ray Moore, Pam Grier, and to a lesser extent Jim Brown and Richard Roundtree) are not convincing at all when it comes to the fight scenes.  Michael Jai White has seven black belts and looks pretty tough on camera, which Steven Seagal will tell you is harder than it looks.  There are a number of recognizable supporting actors in the movie (Tommy Davidson, Arsenio Hall, singer Brian McKnight, Miguel "Juwanna Mann" A. Nunez Jr.,Bokeem Woodbine, Cedric Yarbrough, and former Piston John Salley), but they are there as props for Black Dynamite to be bad-ass to or around.  Aside from a line or two and a funny name (they range from Mo Bitches to Chocolate Giddy-Up), these guys are just around to share in the fun.  And that is what Michael Jai White (who came up with the story and co-wrote it) and director Scott Sanders (who also co-wrote it) do so well here --- they have a lot of fun.

Badassssssss!

Shockingly, a movie this stupid is not perfect.  The first time I watched it, the movie flew by, but a sober viewing proved the movie to still be thoroughly enjoyable...although I would recommend watching it in half-hour chunks.  I do the same thing for Mystery Science Theater 3000, but getting bored with a legitimately funny movie (that is only 84 minutes long) is a bad sign.  The problem is that the characters and plot are just jokes.  I don't have a problem with that choice, but it does make watching the movie all at once a little annoying.  The only other complaint I have with the film is how relatively large Tommy Davidson's role is, because I'm pretty sure I have never laughed at the man, but even the presence of a comedian I despise isn't enough to negatively impact this gem.

I am kind of picky when it comes to comedies, so when I get this excited about one, it's pretty damn funny.  While fans of blaxploitation will get more out of it than others, there is enough silliness here to please anyone.  Unless, of course, you don't like cleverly stupid humor, in which case I hope you can get tickets to Carrot Top's Vegas show.  In short, this movie has action, gratuitous nudity, evil racist white men, songs that describe the scenes, stupid humor, and a main character that begs the question of whether it is possible to be just a little too bad-ass.  The answer is no.

By far, the best new-ish comedy I have seen since my last viewing of Scott Pilgrim.

Miss March (Unrated)

Okay, I will be the first to admit it: this movie looks stupid.  Really, really stupid.  Like, Scary Epic American Pie Movie Film 4.25 stupid.  And yet, after watching previews for this movie, something inside me said "Well, it might not be so bad."  Don't get me wrong...this movie hits the stupid button like it's a whack-a-mole game.  I still laughed.  Why?  Because I find some things funny, jerks.

The premise is pretty weak, I'll admit.  Eugene (Zach Cregger) has been abstinent throughout high school, but his girlfriend, Cindi (Raquel Alessi), has finally talked him into having sex after their senior prom.  Nervous and not very sure about his decision, Eugene looks to his best friend, Tucker (Trevor Moore), for advice.  His advice is to do some shots of whiskey.  Drunk and confident, Eugene leaves his friend to finally lose his virginity...but opens the wrong door, falls down some stairs, and ends up in a coma instead.  Four years later, Eugene finally wakes up from his coma, only to find that his family has moved out of state and his girlfriend is MIA.  The only friend that stuck around is Tucker, who has modeled his entire life after the model set by Hugh Hefner and Playboy magazine.  Thanks to his Playboy subscription, Tucker realizes where Cindi has gone; she's the centerfold in the March issue!  And to think, I assumed nothing would ever reference the movie's title!  The two friends make the only logical conclusion they can: they must take a road trip to the Playboy Mansion so Eugene can find Cindi and Tucker can fulfill his lifelong dream of visiting the Mansion.

If you think that the premise is just a sad excuse to make as many tasteless jokes as possible, you aren't completely wrong.  There's a lot of dumb, gross jokes here.  Honestly, a lot of the jokes are borderline for me.  If they were delivered or written just a little differently, I probably would have hated half of this movie.  Luckily, Zach Cregger and Trevor Moore (who both co-directed and co-wrote the film) are masters of walking the line between stupid-funny and stupid-annoying.  These two are (only slightly) better known as part of the Whitest Kids U' Know comedy troupe.  If you have the opportunity, check them out; they are punchline-based sketch comedy (like my hilarious friends in Big Dog Eat Child), and are more than willing to be really, really stupid for the sake of a joke.

The characters are pretty basic here; Eugene and Tucker are just opposites as a sensitive virgin and a sex-crazed egomaniac.  The supporting characters are just as basic.  The girlfriends don't do a whole lot; Tucker's girlfriend, Candace (Molly Stanton) gives a solid performance as a crazy girl and Raquel Alessi isn't required to do much more than be pretty as the title character.  Only Craig Robinson's performance as rapper Horsedick.mpeg moves beyond a broad stereotype into the realm of complete ridiculousness.  As Robinson's character's name might indicate, this is still a stupid, stupid movie.  Aside from that, there are a couple of aggressively sexual lesbians, crazy firemen, some random sluts, and (of course) Hugh Hefner himself.  This is actually the best movie I have seen Hefner in, barely edging out The Toxic Avenger IV: Citizen Toxie.  I'm not criticizing the supporting cast, mind you.  They exist as fodder for jokes, and they do the job they were hired to do.  Who should hang out on Hosedick.mpeg's tour bus?  Whores?  Done.  Who do you want to play insatiable lesbian lovers?  Two hot chicks that are willing to do nudity?  Double done! Who should play a bit role as a doctor?  Cedric Yarbrough?  Excellent choice, my friends.

Believe it or not, a movie with a character named Hosedick.mpeg has some offensive jokes.  Most notably, this movie has some disgusting bathroom humor (I'd say it's the best of its kind since Dumb and Dumber) and has two odd running gags, one at the expense of epileptics and another aimed at firemen.  I guess the epileptic and fireman gags aren't really offensive so much as they are snowball jokes; they start out only kind of funny, but get better as the movie goes on.  Another one of those is the T-shirt that Eugene ends up wearing for the entire movie.  It's a dumb, cheap laugh, but it's never referenced again, which helps undercut the movie's supposedly sincere moments.  You might notice something odd when Eugene is being talked into sex by his girlfriend at the beginning of the movie; I don't know if the theatrical version has this, but the dialogue is dubbed over in parts.  I did a little research and found that they replaced the word "retard" with "crackhead."  That was what went over the line for the producers.  Not a black man called Horsedick (dot-mpeg!).  I guess that's what they refer to as a "judgment call."

 It's difficult to write a review for a comedy that actually makes people want to watch the movie.  You don't want to describe the jokes in detail.  The plot and acting are both going to be, almost necessarily, universally poor.  All that really matters is the writing, timing, and delivery.  In those three important areas, this film delivers.  Sure, Miss March has gotten scathing reviews across the board.  Yes, Hugh Hefner was nominated for a Razzie award for his supporting role.  I think those critics missed the point.  This was never going to be that romantic comedy with heart that will function as a date movie.  It's not a coming of age tale (not really) that has an out-of-left-field emotional ending, like most sex comedies.  These characters do grow a little, but not much.  Instead, this movie goes for the funny.  Sometimes, they swing and miss.  Badly.  Like, corkscrew into the ground badly.  But, once it gets you laughing, you will find even the stupidest moments endearing.  Or, at the very least, you will feel smarter than the characters.  Still not sure if this movie is for you?  Check out some Whitest Kids U'Know clips on youtube.