Killer Elite (2011)

When the first trailers for Killer Elite (not to be confused with The Killer Elite --- definite articles make a difference, you know) came out, I got a little excited.

Jason Statham, current king of the stupid action movie, co-starring with Clive Owen --- who I loved in the ridiculous Shoot 'Em Up --- and a latter-day Robert DeNiro in a non-comedic role; even if DeNiro mailed in his performance (likely), the other two should make for an awesome action movie, right?  After all, they got the rights to play The Scorpions in the trailer, so this flick should rawk!  At the very least, Killer Elite should be as awesome as this music video for "Rock You Like a Hurricane," right?



Okay, maybe that's a tall order --- after all, it's not like The Stath is going to look surprised while soloing on guitar in the movie --- but Killer Elite had enough good ingredients to make for a good old-fashioned dumb but fun action movie.

Maybe more than dumb, but still fun

For many years, Danny (Jason Statham) was a bad-ass-for-hire.  He worked all over the world, and he usually worked with the same crew: Meier (Aden Young), the tech guy; Davies (Dominic Purcell), the not particularly bright brawn; and Hunter (Robert DeNiro), the brains and Danny's mentor.  When a job went bad in 1980, Danny was wounded and was faced with the immorality of his chosen profession.  So he quit and started renovating a dilapidated property in his hometown in Australia.  There, he lives the simple life and attracts a local beauty, Anne (Yvonne Strahovski), because who wouldn't be attracted to a bald man with no apparent job, engaged in what appears to be a never-ending task?

Women want him, men want to give him firm embraces

A year later, Danny gets a call telling him that Hunter's life is in the balance; if Danny doesn't do a particular job, Hunter will die.  Every time he thinks he's out, they pull him back in, people.  Danny travels to Oman, where Sheikh Amr gives Danny the assignment --- he is to kill three former members of Britain's SAS, who Amr holds responsible for the deaths of three of his sons during the Dhofar Rebellion.  Danny doesn't like it, but he won't allow Hunter to die.  The SAS isn't exactly a bunch of sissies, so Danny has his work cut out for him; luckily, he is being offered millions of dollars for the job, which convinces Meier and Davies to join up on this difficult mission.  There is a catch, though.  The team's clumsy inquiries into the lives of their SAS targets garners the attention of the Feathermen, a group of clandestine former SAS members dedicated to protecting their own with a minimum of publicity.  The Feathermen send their enforcer, Spike (Clive Owen), to make this happen.  So, the stage is set: a group of mercenaries vs. a group of retired, but highly trained, military men.  It loos like a lot of people are going to die to save Robert DeNiro.

They're both getting too old for this shit

Killer Elite seemed to promise that all-too-elusive cinematic beast: the action movie with multiple stars.  When it comes to movies that attempt to balance their action star power, they usually fall into three types: the hopelessly inept in every way (Van Helsing, Ballistic: Ecks vs. Sever), the "about what you expected because you've seen the primary star's other films" (The Expendables), and --- rarest of all --- the action movie that blends the styles of its lead actors to make something better (or at least dumber) than the sum of their abilities (Tango & Cash, Demolition Man).  Unfortunately, this isn't a movie that makes use of DeNiro's grittiness (or acting ability, for that matter), Statham's physical stunts, and Owen's bastard charm.  No, this is the second type, a typical Jason Statham vehicle with a better supporting cast than he's used to and/or deserves.

The acting, such as it is, isn't bad.  The Stath scowls and does cool things in situations where you or I would probably die.  While the rest of the cast (or at least their costume designers) strove to look like they were from 1981, Stath looked as he always does, just with aviator sunglasses this time.  I think my favorite insight into Stath's character was when he disguised himself to get some information; he put on a lab coat to get some medical info, but didn't wear a wig, or glasses, or a fake nose, or a tie, or a suit, and he certainly didn't shave --- he just put a lab coat on over his street clothes, grabbed some files, and was done.  Who needs a script disguise?  It's only privileged information!  Clive Owen was a decent enemy for Statham at first, but the plot forces his character to start taking things far more personally than would make sense in the circumstances. 

Maybe Stath mentioned the turd on his lip?

Robert DeNiro isn't in a whole lot of the movie, but he's a welcome addition.  He's certainly not great here, but DeNiro can still turn on the charm when he wants to.  Yvonne Strahovski essentially played the personification of Stath's motives, but I thought she was fine.  She certainly could have been far more annoying, anyway.  There are a number of minor supporting cast members, but Dominic Purcell played the largest part.  Purcell isn't the most articulate actor in the world, but what held my fascination with him in Killer Elite was his facial hair; either he has some bizarre beard issues, or his makeup artist had difficulty knowing what sideburns and mustaches should look like.

The description shouldn't begin and end with "greasy"

Killer Elite is the first feature-length film by Gary McKendry; he was nominated for an Oscar for his only other movie, a short film.  McKendry didn't make a bad pic with Killer Elite, it just disappointed me.  I thought the story was told decently and the acting was damn good for what amounts to a typical action movie.  The character relationships were handled far better than most films of this ilk, too.  McKendry didn't do anything too spectacular with this movie, but he was certainly competent.  I really wish he had figured out a better way to explain the Feathermen organization --- he opted to having them explain the purpose of their secret club aloud to each other, because that's what clandestine groups do --- but that's really as dumb as the movie gets.  Unless you count the chair scene, which also falls into the category of as awesome as this movie gets.

Killer Elite isn't a great action movie, but it's a nice change from the last few Statham vehicles I have seen.  It actually has characters and some limited character development!  Shock!  I was hoping for something a little more goofy and fun, but this isn't bad.  But don't buy into that "true story" crap that's tacked on the beginning and end; the book this is based on A) makes the Feathermen the heroes B) was called "factional" by its author and C) has (depending on who you ask) been admitted as a complete fabrication.  So if you see something dumb in this movie, don't rationalize it as "well, it must have happened, because this is a true story."

Blood Creek

Blood Creek sounds like a can't-miss horror movie.  It features up-and-coming actors Michael Fassbender and the next Superman, Henry Cavill.  Young, hot actors are usually a good sign, right?  The story manages to fit in Nazis, the occult, zombie horses, and rural West Virginia (state motto: "The Inspiration for Deliverance").  Even if it's not genuinely good...it has zombie horses!  How can this movie go wrong?

When we first meet Evan (Henry Cavill), his life sucks.  He has a stressful job (paramedic) and no social life, because he spends his free time taking care of his father, who hates him.  Why?  It seems that Evan went fishing in the West Virginia wilderness with his war hero brother, Victor (Dominic Purcell), and managed to lose him.  Victor hasn't been seen in the few years since, and Evan blames himself.  So does his dad and maybe Victor's wife and child do, too.  One night, Victor returns.  Hooray!  Time to tell the family, right?  Not so fast.  Victor makes Evan promise not to ask any questions and --- after a quick shower, shave, and haircut --- the two grab some guns and head back to the wilderness.

Sometimes, brotherly love is distributed one barrel at a time

It seems that Victor has spent the last couple of years as prisoner on a farm; he shows off some nasty scars on his back, but he doesn't explain anything more to Evan.  Torturing and killing a family, including a mother and daughter, doesn't sit well with Evan, but he shouldn't worry.  You see, the family in question was featured in a short prologue, set back in the 1930s; the family members were visited by a Nazi scientist, Herr Wirth (Michael Fassbender), and they don't appear to have aged a day since.  Why did Victor come back?  Who is he looking for?  Here's a hint: if the family hasn't aged, I wonder what Wirth is up to...?

Answer: not exfoliating

You might have noticed a complete lack of the occult and zombies in that brief synopsis.  It turns out that the Nazi, Wirth, that visited the farm in the 30s was studying ancient Nordic runes.  By studying them, he had gained the power to raise the dead.  Fast forward seventy or eighty years, and the family apparently keeps Wirth locked in their cellar, which he doesn't like, and I suppose is a reasonable reaction.  He's fairly super-powered (and ugly) at this point, so you would think he could just tear the family apart, right?  Well, the farmhouse is covered in rune markings that protect the family from Wirth.  That is, until some brothers intrude, leave a few dead bodies in their wake and let Wirth free.  Now, Wirth is on the loose, with the dead bodies of people, a dog, and some horses to play with.  Oh, and tonight just happens to be a very important night for occult blood rituals.  Hey, Victor, maybe you should have just gone home to your wife and kid, eh?

I don't necessarily expect the greatest acting in films that feature zombies, but I was let down by Blood Creek.  The acting wasn't wretched, but I wanted more than I was given.  Michael Fassbender spends most of his time on the film shrouded in shadow, with the majority of his dialogue being guttural whispers.  In other words, he wasn't used very well.  Dominic Purcell is as monosyllabic as ever and the interactions between him and Cavill are generally just shouting matches.  I did find his I've-been-gone-for-a-few-years long hair and hobo beard to be pretty funny and obviously fake; I'm still baffled by his choice to shave his head and trim his beard down to stubble, but not actually shaving his face.  Who does that?  Henry Cavill doesn't impress here, either, although his character is pretty nonsensical, so that might just be the weakness of the writing showing through.  Emma Booth was mediocre as the character that explains everything to Cavill, Purcell, and the audience, but it was a thankless role.

His X-ray vision looks deep into your soul

My biggest problem with Blood Creek has to be the direction of Joel Schumacher.  I suppose I still hold a grudge against the man for ruining Batman for the better part of a decade, but he has made a few good horror movies in his time, so I was expecting this to be better than it was.  The premise is cool enough, but Schumacher makes some odd choices throughout.  My main gripe is that we don't get a clear glimpse of Herr Wirth for about an hour.  We see his shadowy figure, wearing a surprisingly nice leather duster, sprinting across the farm in the darkness, and we get a few quick looks at his face, covered in black bandages, but there are so many questions left unanswered.  Why does he need bandages if he's an undead occult Nazi?  For that matter, why does he need a groovy jacket?  Exactly why have Wirth's looks been so drastically affected by his magic, but the family, who benefit from his spells, look normal?  How did Wirth get those rune symbols legibly carved into the back of his skull?  Sure, he looks cool, but that appearance is wasted in the darkness. 

The only time you see Fassbender's actual face

There are a lot of dumb moments in the film that should have been caught by the director, but were not.  Why does the undying farm family have only one picture on display in their house, and it happens to have a date written on it?  That's ridiculously stupid.  It's even stupider than the weaknesses in the script, like the concept of Evan promising to not ask questions, and yet that's all he does.  Or the fact that Wirth's zombies can enter the farmhouse, but are not under instructions to break the runes that keep him outside.  Ugh.  So much stupid.

There are some good things going on in Blood Creek.  I really liked the basic idea of Nazi occult beliefs.
As other movies (the first and third Indiana Jones series, for starters) have shown, having Nazis and occult themes in the same picture can make for great films, and it is an idea that is terribly underused.  I also liked that the zombies created by Wirth weren't the flesh-eating variety, but the voodoo type, raised by a master and doing his bidding.  The special effects were pretty good and the gore was solid in both quality and quantity.  I'm still divided on whether or not the zombie horse was hilariously awesome or just plain bad, but I'll put it in the "win" column for now. 

For being a more-or-less direct-to-DVD release, Blood Creek is pretty good.  I don't grade on a curve, though.  There are some solid ideas here, but too many stupid moments and poor choices for me to recommend this.  There was some promise in the premise, but promises are made to be broken.