Night at the Museum: The Battle of the Smithsonian

Have you seen Night at the Museum?  In it, Ben Stiller plays a night watchman at a museum that contains the Golden Tablet of Akhmenrah, a magical ancient Egyptian artifact that somehow animates the displays at the museum, making them come to life at night.  That means that the stuffed Teddy Roosevelt, the dinosaur skeleton, the figures in miniature displays, etc.... all those exhibits become animated and come to life.  Are they people or things?  Let's just refer to them as exhibimations.  Hijinks ensued when the exhibimations did blah blah blah and everyone learned a valuable lesson.  And that lesson was, despite being alive only at night, the exhibimations are not, in fact, vampires.  Yet.  Is everybody caught up?  Too bad!

Time for the sequel!  After the events of Night at the Museum, Larry Daley (Ben Stiller) has moved on with his life, quitting his job as night watchman for the American Natural History Museum to become a wealthy and successful inventor/TV pitch man.  Just think of him as the ShamWow guy, minus the arrest record for hooker beating.  After several months of not visiting, Larry stops by the museum as it closes, only to find that it is really closing --- closing for renovations and upgrades; interactive holograms will replace many of the display pieces, with only a precious few staying behind.  Dr. McPhee (Ricky Gervais), the museum director, tells Larry that the old exhibits will be shipped to the Smithsonian Institute in Washington, DC, where they will probably sit unseen in their basement archives for years.  And then McPhee leaves Larry in the closed museum, free to walk about on his own.  An interesting choice, I suppose.  Larry plays catch up with his old museum buddies, but is told confidentially by Teddy Roosevelt (Robin Williams) that, unbeknownst to most of the exhibimations, the Golden Tablet of Akhmenrah will be staying in the Natural History Museum, along with Teddy and Akhmenrah; tragically, this will be the final night the Smithsonian-bound exhibimations will enjoy their unnatural nocturnal lives!  You can never trust exhibimations, though.  Larry's nemesis from the first film, the monkey Dexter, stole the Tablet and it was packed away with the stuff going to the Smithsonian.  The Tablet was fun in the relatively small Natural History Museum, but the Smithsonian is the world's largest museum.  Chaos and even more hijinks are assured!

You would think that hijinks would be enough for the movie (it was for the first one, after all), but sequels like to turn everything up a few notches.  Night at the Museum: Battle of the Smithsonian gives Larry a villain to defeat: the kindly Akhmenrah's brother, Kahmunrah (Hank Azaria).  More warlike than his brother, Kahmunrah wants to use the Golden Tablet to open the Gate to the Underworld, where he will get an army that will conquer the world.  At least, during nighttime hours.  Will Larry defeat the evil voice actor, or will the third movie in the franchise be titled Night at the Museum: Surrender at Appomattox? 

Oftentimes, the success of a sequel depends on how much of its original cast returned.  In this way, Battle of the Smithsonian definitely succeeded.  Returning cast members include Ben Stiller, Robin Williams, Owen Wilson, Steve Coogan, Ricky Gervais, Mizuo Peck, and Brad Garrett (as a voice).  At the Smithsonian, we meet a whole new cast of characters, including Amelia Earhart (Amy Adams), George Custer (Bill Hader), and Ivan the Terrible (Chrisopher Guest), along with Kahmunrah and a cast of dozens more.  Other noteworthy actors that pop up in bit parts include Jonah Hill, Eugene Levy (as a voice), the Jonas Brothers (as voices), Ed Helms, George Foreman, Craig Robinson, Clint Howard, Jay Baruchel, Thomas Lennon and Robert Ben Garant.


The first Museum felt pretty busy, despite a cast that featured a lot of animals and cavemen; this one feels like it has ADD.  There are way too many recognizable actors playing way too many roles that get decent screen time, so none of the new characters (with the possible exception of Ameila Earhart) get developed at all.  Even Larry's motivation is hard to figure out this time around. Last time, Larry was trying to prove that he was not a loser to his son and ex-wife.  This time, his successful business makes him too busy for his son or a girlfriend.  He runs to the Smithsonian because the exhibimations are suddenly important to him again and because he knows the havoc they will wreak.  That's fine, but it doesn't have the emotional core that most family films strive for.

The acting in the movie was fine, if fairly basic.  Almost all of the characters were caricatures, so they're basically just a visual gag and maybe a few lines.  I'm not a Ben Stiller fan, but I didn't mind him in the first Museum; here, though, he comes across as cocky and not nearly as likable.   I don't understand why Hank Azaria can be cast in any ethnic role, but even if I was okay with him playing an Egyptian pharoh, I still wouldn't understand his lisp.  Really?  A lisp?  For that to work, you really have to put some effort in, like the forty or fifty jokes Monty Python did in Life of Brian.  This was just lazy.  Amy Adams is pretty, but her zany 1920s accent drove me nuts; if she didn't mention speakeasies, the jitterbug, dancing on a pole, or Calvin Coolidge, it's only because the lines got cut.  Adams is a likable actress, and her character was kind of appealing, but her voice was obnoxious.

Director Shawn Levy is not a terribly talented comedic director.  He does mostly family comedies, filled with lots of characters.  I get why he directed this, and he probably did a decent job with the script he was given.  The script was disappointing, though.  Written by Thomas Lennon and Robert Ben Garant (of Reno: 911! fame), this film was just sight gag after sight gag.  These two are not the most consistent of screenwriters (see Herbie: Fully Loaded.  Or don't.), but they have definitely done better work.  This attempt comes across as shallow and simple, without the warmth that made adults forgive their children for making them sit through it.  Visually, this is a pretty good movie.  There are even several almost funny jokes.  Given the talent in this movie, though, it was a big disappointment, even for a family movie.

Aladdin

After hearing all the fuss about "white-washing" the cast of The Last Airbender and Prince of Persia this summer, I have to look at Aladdin and chuckle.  I mean, is there a more Caucasian movie about Arabic characters?  It takes its story from a classic Middle Eastern folktale collection, One Thousand and One Nights, and the lead voice actor is...Steve from Full House?  I never realized how ethnic he was!

The movie begins with Jafar (Jonathan Freeman) and his wise-cracking parrot, Iago (Gilbert Gottfried), in the middle of the desert, persuading a thief to enter the Cave of Wonders.  The cave's entrance is shaped like a tiger's head, and it talks.  Would you willingly walk into a giant, talking stone tiger's mouth?  If so, you might be a dirty thief.  The cave eats the thief and tells Jafar that only a "diamond in the rough" can gain access to the cave's treasures.  That doesn't seem hard to find, does it?  And it's not.  With the help of a machine, Jafar is able to learn the identity of this "diamond:" Aladdin (Scott Weinger).  Jafar wants Aladdin because he wants more power and riches than his sorcerer/adviser-to-the-Sultan role can provide him; he wants the power of the magic lamp that lies inside the Cave of Wonders.

Aladdin is a "street rat" in the fictional Arabic city of Agrabah.  With his monkey, Abu, he steals what he needs to survive and spends the rest of his time running for his life while singing.  Here's a tip, folks: if you're trying to evade capture by the police, don't sing your plans to them.  I know, it's a very tempting and natural desire, but it's rarely the right move.  One day, Aladdin notices a pretty girl in the market and protects her from the police.  The two spend the rest of the day together, enjoying each others company and, in the Disney way, falling in love with a speed that would alarm any parent.  Alas, their time together is interrupted by palace guards, who Jafar has sent to capture Aladdin.  The guards and Aladdin are surprised when the girl reveals herself to be Princess Jasmine (Linda Larkin), but the guards still take Aladdin away.  Jasmine was slumming it in the city because she felt trapped by her palace life; at almost sixteen years old, Jasmine was practically an old maid by princess standards and her father was pressuring her to choose a husband.  Tired of being pressured, Jasmine snuck out of the castle and met her true love, Aladdin, only to have him taken to the very palace she had escaped from.  It's like ray-eee-ayne on your wedding day.  Seriously, it is.

Back in the desert, at the Cave of Wonders, Jafar tells Aladdin that he can have all the treasures of the cave if he gives Jafar a particular lamp first.  Aladdin is all about it, but his stupid monkey had to touch something that caused the cave to self destruct.  Luckily, a magic carpet helps Aladdin and Abu survive, but they're trapped.  But they have this lamp...and it looks so dirty...I wonder if anyone will want to clean it off, maybe by rubbing it...?  Well, look at that!  Rubbing the lamp gives you a genie that may or may not have the attention span of a coke-fueled squirrel.  So, now Aladdin has the lamp, he has a genie and three wishes.  His new buddy, Genie, would really like wish number three to be freedom from the lamp and his years of servitude, but the first priority is to win Jasmine's heart.  Unfortunately, in the palace, Jafar has found a new way to gain power.  He realizes that he would become Sultan if he married Jasmine.  Who will win her hand in marriage, the underhanded Jafar, or the stupid but earnest Aladdin?

This is, in my mind, the quintessential late-period Disney animated movie.  The animation is in the classic style, but with some digital coloring (mainly for the lava and the magic carpet) that really pops out of the screen.  The hero has a good heart, but is immature and a little stupid.  The heroine is strong-willed and feminist to a point, but really just wants to get married at a young age.  The villain is completely unsympathetic and ugly.  The supporting cast is lovable and goofy.  The songs became pop hits and the movie serves as their music videos.  While these broad storytelling devices make for a fairly predictable plot, it's still an animated Disney movie, which means it's pretty darn adorable.

Like most Disney movies of the time, the cast is primarily made of professional voice actors.  Scott Weiger does a good job as Aladdin, but he (and everyone else) is overshadowed by Robin Williams' manic performance as the Genie.  Williams is what makes this movie work; without him, it's a cute, but mediocre cartoon.  It shouldn't come as a surprise (if you're familiar with his work) that most of Williams' dialogue was ad-libbed; he apparently was given topics and suggestions and allowed to ramble on from there.  What is surprising is the fact that an animation studio would create more work for themselves by waiting on the voice actor before they drew the scenes.  I guess that's the sort of happy inconvenience you're willing to endure to work with a mad genius.  Or Mork.

While Williams raises this movie to great heights, the scenes without him should have been better.  I have no problem with Aladdin's early scenes; they establish his character and the "Street Rat" song was cute.  But what was with the Hammer pants?  I don't particularly like Jasmine at the beginning; she complains about not having choices, like she's being forced into an arranged marriage or something.  She's not.  She keeps having suitors introduced and scares them off.  That's her freedom of choice at work.  It's not that she doesn't want to get married at age sixteen, or that she wants to know her husband before they wed; she just doesn't like the guys she's met.  It's faux-feminism, and if a cartoon is going to feature strong-willed female leads, I would prefer if they grow a (proverbial) pair of balls and stand up for themselves instead of just being moderately picky over men.  By the way, the "pressure" to marry was completely null and void, since her dad can change the laws as it suits him (as the ending proves).  Way to negate her character development, dad.  I liked Jafar as the villain, but would have preferred if his character was more visually interesting, instead of a skinny bald dude with some ugly clothes.  His parrot, Iago, is something else entirely.  I will ignore any questions about Gilbert Gottfried's talent (nonexistent) or the origin of his voice (the seventh circle of Hell) and instead ask why it was necessary to add airplane noises to a scene where he pantomimed crashing and burning.  Aside from being kind of insulting (What?  I can't connect a bird falling, with his wings spread to a crash?), it just doesn't make sense for airplane noises to be in a movie set in the ninth century.  Who is to blame for all these oddities?  Co-directors and co-screenwriters John Muster and Ron Clements; of course, they're also responsible for convincing Williams to sign up and then giving him room to work, so they're not all bad.

And what was with the narrator at the beginning?  Yes, I realize it's Robin Williams, but why is he in the movie at all?  When you set up a narrative bookend, it means that the main story is being told to the audience by a character (like in the original One Thousand and One Nights).  But...we never see the narrator again.  That's just sloppy, Disney.  Walt, somebody should get fired for that.  Right after you defrost.

I don't mind that sloppiness, though.  This is still a fun movie to watch, regardless of age.  The songs are mostly fun and even the pop ballad "A Whole New World" can be goofy with some audience participation.  Go on, whisper "don't you dare close your eyes" to the person next to you when watching this movie.  Hilarity ensues, I guarantee it.  It's a fun movie with some reasonably likable characters finding their way to a happy ending while passing on a few trite lessons for the kids.