Wow. Bad idea. Kids, don't do as Donnie Don't does.
|Catch a rerun instead of this movie, please.|
Solarbabies (taken from the main characters' rollercrosse team name) is not exactly an acting tour de force. Sure, it boasts Jason Patric in his first movie, but it also shows off some early work from Jami Gertz, Peter DeLouise, James LeGros, Lukas Haas and the apparently time-proof Adrian Pasdar.
|What makes his hair even better is the fact that he plays a roller skating falconer.|
|An actual publicity shot for Solarbabies, which wisely chooses to have nothing to do with the movie.|
- Their roller skates have lights to help with skating in the dark.
- When given the task of disabling a camera that will, at any moment, report that the Solarbabies are escaping their prison, one of them chooses to try and break the camera by hitting a rock at it, baseball-style. That has to be a fairly unlikely path toward success.
- Roller. Skating. Falconer.
- There is apparently still hair dye after the apocalypse.
- Roller skating is apparently very easy on dirt roads.
- The police cars look like Darth Vader helmets on wheels.
- Five good guys get captured by two bounty hunters, even after the hunters admit that they won't use lethal force.
- Dogs have flashlights on their heads...to help track roller skates with flashlights on them, maybe?
- Smokey Robinson provides the song for the credits, and it includes the name "Bodhai" frequently in the lyrics.
|Leave it to a DeLouise to be happy about a bad movie.|
|You better think before you watch Solarbabies with Aretha.|