The year is 2018, because this is a historical document from our future. Take note, students! America has sent a manned flight to the moon because the President, a Sarah Palin analogue (Stephanie Paul), decided that the easiest way to gain minority support was to send a black astronaut to the moon. I don't necessarily follow that logic, but in all fairness, the film doesn't address how successful that plan is. It should be noted that the astronauts did not land on the sunny, closer side of the moon; they landed near the dark side of the moon. That turns out to be a bad idea, for reasons that do not include prog rock or laser shows.
|Yes, that is an astronaut being executed by a Nazi stormtrooper|
|How? Military-grade cleavage.|
|Of course all Nazi scientists look like Einstein|
|Answer: B-movie space battles, that's what|
When you watch a movie about Moon Nazis, you can be reasonably sure that the acting will not be a main priority. To its credit, Iron Sky's acting isn't painfully bad. Julia Dietze is actually pretty decent as Renate, even though her character is (arguably) the stupidest person in the film. She had a silly role and didn't do it half-assed, so kudos to her. How dumb was her part? She was undressed by a depressurized hull.
Christopher Kirby got to speak in stereotypical black slang and was the butt of very generic black jokes. It gets worse when his character is Aryan-ized; if you thought the jokes about black people were weak, wait until you get the jokes about someone who used to be black.
|"Nein! I do not want to wait for pain!"|
|I am jealous that Fake Palin talks to holograms, though|
The main problem for most of the cast was that the script for Iron Sky is pretty awful. There's not much you can do when you're in a movie about Moon Nazis and the film isn't very much fun. The script is certainly to blame for most of that --- the "jokes" barely deserve finger quotations, much less actual ones --- but the general plot was also underwhelming. Iron Sky is about Moon Nazis invading Earth. There is no excuse for extended chunks of boredom. And yet, the audience is subjected to sub-SNL-quality political satire to fill the gaps between astronauts getting shot and space battles.
|YOU HAVE STORM TROOPERS! JUST INVADE, ALREADY!|
I was legitimately excited to watch Iron Sky, and the first few scenes on the moon didn't disappoint. Unfortunately, the rest of the movie is fairly slow and tedious. I wasn't looking for Shakespeare, but I was hoping for something gleefully stupid. Instead, Iron Sky is filled with characters trying to be funny, but not quite understanding how to make that happen. You might think that such a drab effort would sour me on stupid Nazi movies, but that is not the case. In fact, one of the worst movie studios working today managed to make a far more amusing stupid Nazi movie at almost the exact same time as Iron Sky...and I'll review it tomorrow. Meanwhile, Iron Sky gets a little credit for its premise and the opening scenes, but it was a sincere disappointment from a "laugh and drink to this" perspective.