|31 Days of Horror|
Halloween III: Season of the Witch begins exactly as you think it would: with computerized graphics and a title screen that must have taken literally seconds to produce.
|Looks like the entire budget was spent wow-ing the audience with the opening credits|
|The suicidal man, showcasing the average emotional range of these actors|
|"Do you think your father would mind if I took that 'Free Mustache Rides' shirt?"|
|Still not convinced? I don't blame you|
What can I say about the acting in Halloween III: Season of the Witch? Well, Dr. Dan probably says it best in the film's final scene: "STOP IT!!!"
Tom Atkins was pretty horrible in the lead role, taking a role that needed sympathy and heroism and filling it with creepiness and a complete lack of motivation. Dan O'Herlihy was a little better as the closest thing this movie has to a titular witch, but looking mediocre next to the rest of this cast is no big deal. Stacey Nelkin was also halfway decent, if you like vacant stares and 80s hair.
|...and/or random lingerie appearances|
The less said about Tommy Lee Wallace's direction and co-writing, the better. Let's just call it annoying and incompetent, and leave it at that. Well, I guess that's where we can leave the direction. The writing is pretty terrible. I'll have to come back to that.
|"Ah, yes, the joy on a child's face when he sees the same damn thing over and over again..."|
How gruesome can a movie about Halloween masks and seasons be? Actually, there are quite a few death scenes in Halloween III: Season of the Witch. I would argue that there are more kills in this film than in any other Halloween, if you count the killer robots as victims. Speaking of killer robots, did you know that normal humans can punch right through them? It's true. Hell, you can even decapitate them with little effort, provided the robot has the form of an elderly woman. Halloween III also has some fairly unusual deaths in it. My favorite, by far, is the laser-to-the-mouth kill. There are no lasers anywhere else in this film, but poking the wrong thing with a paperclip takes you from bored and frumpy...
|Luke Skywalker has had enough of her crap|
|Cold sores are disgusting|
|Tommy needs a bath|
Oddly enough, Halloween III: Season of the Witch is not remembered for being oddly gruesome or having a darker tone than most other horror movies. It is remembered for being spectacularly bad. Why? Maybe because this horrible, wretched song is replayed at least fifteen times in the damn film. Maybe it's the lack of Michael Myers. Or possibly the shitty acting. Or maybe because the public reacted poorly to child murder.
|Nah. These punks are asking for it.|
|Oh, I get it. TV rots your brain.|
|Oh, suck it up. YOU read the script. YOU know.|
But does Halloween III: Season of the Witch truly deserve its place among the worst movies of all time? I don't think so. It's definitely bad, but there are worse movies, and there are movies in this franchise that I've hated more. I think the notoriety surrounding this film is due entirely to it being the sole Michael Myers-less entry in this franchise. If it was just called "Season of the Witch," it would be a bad movie, perhaps even a forgotten movie, but it wouldn't be notorious. There are actually some elements here that I genuinely like. I really liked the villain's motive, and I liked that he scoffed at needing a reason to do terrible things. I liked that this movie took on the (fairly) taboo task of killing children in the story, and I was impressed with the implications of the ending. Yes, it's a pretty amateurish effort and deserves to be mocked by all that see it, but there are some core elements here that could ("could" being the operative word) make for a truly frightening horror movie. As a legit film, Halloween III receives a fairly generous:
Rifftrax, and/or a large bottle of rum. Because scotch should be enjoyed. Lefty Gold score of...