|31 Days of Horror, post 11|
Jason X is an important film, not only because it is the tenth entry in a film series --- how many films can boast that claim? (four, actually) --- but also because it teaches us important lessons. The film opens in the Crystal Lake Research Facility, because research facilities are typically built in the same area as remote Summer camps. There, we meet Rowan (Lexa Doig), a scientist heading a team that is researching Jason Voorhies (Kane Hodder). Everyone knows about how Jason was captured by the government; they "executed him for the first time" in 2008, remember? He just won't stay dead, though. In 2010, Rowan plans to freeze Jason for further study, but David Cronenberg wants to do something stupid that inevitably leads to Jason getting free and having himself a blood orgy.
|"Blood Orgy" would make a pretty solid Cronenberg title|
|The "unknown stimulus" is cadaver table romance?|
|Goalie masks: still fashionable, even in 450 years|
The acting in Jason X is better off not being mentioned. Let's just say that it's campy at best and amateurish at worst and leave it at that.
|It's possible this guy doesn't even list this movie on his resume|
James Issacs directed Jason X. He didn't try to make the characters too likable, or make the spaceship look good. His focus was on violence and campy humor. How successful was he?
Todd Farmer) and director teamed up to make this the campiest and silliest Friday the 13th yet. Was it actually funny? Well...here and there.
|"We love premarital sex!"|
It's humorously violent, it has characters making commentary, and is filled with over-the-top ridiculousness. When done correctly, that should make for an awesome scene. This one...it's not bad. I might even go so far as to call it "pretty good." But it doesn't quite work. There's some absolutely silly moves from the lady, some mediocre one-liner comments, and Jason looking confused while he gets blown to hell. It's fun, but it feels a bit forced.
There is a problem with the way I approached Jason X. Since this is the tenth freakin' Friday, and it is set in space, I instinctively treated it with kid gloves; since I went in with such gloriously low expectations, minor accomplishments like occasionally competent dialogue seem far more valuable than they really are. It's like applauding a toddler for pooping in a toilet --- we expect that of most people, but the bar is set pretty low for these kids because we know they're crapped themselves so many times before.
|Look! Jason's distracted by my amazing simile!|
Of course, some of the best moments in Jason X are not related directly to the story at all. Here's a handy list to help you pick out some of the choicer moments of conceptual humor:
- Jason still has his gross old clothes and mask. Think about that for a moment. Jason had been captured by the government for several years and they tried every way they could imagine to kill him. And yet, the scientists never replaced his shitty clothes or hockey mask. For that matter, the fact that Jason is able to easily get his hands on a giant-ass machete just goes to show that the Crystal Lake Research Facility is probably not the high-end, respectable place that the name implies.
- Students in space are always ready for sexy time. I have no problem with characters in horror movies acting sex-crazed, since that's one of the characteristics of slasher movies. I was surprised by how much skin was showing while these students were working on corpses.
|Midriff- and shoulder-baring sweaters are actually part of the dissection uniform|
- Machetes are medical tools in the future. 'Nuff said.